you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
