dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Screwed.edu
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
