I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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