Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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