Can Purell be used as lube?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize