4 words: hood of his car
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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