I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
