Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
