I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
