either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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