Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
