But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
