She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
