3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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