if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
