Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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