We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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