We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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