This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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