you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
