Its about making memories worth repressing
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
