I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm really busy with my period
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