Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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