sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
