I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
They are going to name an STD after you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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