guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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