i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
