VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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