are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
