In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
