remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
