he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Randomize
