I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
two words: eviction party
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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