I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize