i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
