Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
