i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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