it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
