Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
