Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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