she smelled like a LAN party
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
