U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
