we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You ate ashes out of my bong
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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