theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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