Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
