I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
