Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize