I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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