She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
