fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
