the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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