just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
