if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
