Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize