1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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