i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
