pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
