who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
