i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
