bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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