this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Semen is not good for contacts.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
