shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
