I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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