2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
