Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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