I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
