Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I CAN MOONWALK!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
