dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
