I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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